News Flash

I'm totally over my roommate. In fact he's annoying me. Tonight he had the nerve to knock on my door at 11:30 pm to ask me if I had an extra wine glass in my room. Don't bug me at that hour over some trifling detail. We aren't sophisticated people here - this place is a dump. Pour that damn cheap 'wine product' you drink into one of my 99cent store water glasses, give it to your girl and call it a day!
The other night he was running off to his room with a pint of ice cream and two spoons. He was like, "I have to go feed my baby." Now, I'm not into him anymore but you'd think he'd have the decency to be a little bit low key about that stuff with me after what happened with us in the recent past. He just seems to be a tad bit too gleeful about it all. This kind of thing makes me want to bring my new latin lover over to have loud sex with on the living room couch. Ahem... not that'd I'd actually ever stoop to that level of immaturity...
Anyway, I get over men prettttty damn quickly. Its a coping mechanism I've had to learn over the years. As I once told my roommate right after his girlfriend moved here from Serbia, "I'm not interested in people who aren't interested in me."
And truth be told, I'm going through men here in New York at an unprecedented rate. I haven't met this many guys since I was in my early 20s. So, I'm not gonna get hung up on any one of them. I'm waiting for that one who is really special and feels the same about me. Until that day, easy come, easy go mi amigos!

Unbelievable!

Hakim called me tonight. He asked me if I was still single. I told him I was. He was like "Oh well you must not want a boyfriend." As if it were that easy...

When I politely inquired as to how things were going with him and his ex wife he said, "Ohhhh good. Well, she is weak like all women but its OK..." I was like, "Oh excuse me, what did you say - women are weak?!" Hakim: "Oh yeah women are weak in the brain, you too habibati." When I asked him WHY women were weak he said, "Well god made them that way." Hmmmmmm. Interesting. So then I asked him, "So how did God make men?" To which he replied, "God made men assholes."
Ha ha ha!!!! He really is too much! I was dying.
I prompted him, "Oh really, so its God's fault men are are assholes?" Then he said, "Well God made some men assholes and women turned some men into assholes."
Huh. So women are not only WEAK but also partially to blame for why MEN ARE ASSHOLES! Got it.

Then he asked me, "How is your shape?"
"My shape?" WTF?! "Well", I reminded him, "you once told me that I should go to the gym instead of spending so much time hanging out with my roommate." (He was insecure about me living with two guys.)
He was like, "Oh well your shape has always been very good. I must have been drunk or stoned if I said that."
WOW.

I'm not even pissed. I'm fascinated. I just can't believe the things that come out of this guy's mouth.
Hilarious!