Kitties

Just so you know I'm not exaggerating these are literal ads for adoptable cats in Brooklyn. There are hundreds of them. I almost cried a couple times. I started thinking about how hard it would be to pick a baby or a child to adopt, hearing the sad stories and knowing they were all so worthy of love and security.
Anyway, I'm gonna try to go meet Emily...

CLEO BUNDLE OF LOVE!
Domestic Short Hair/Tabby - Buff Mix: An adoptable cat in Brooklyn, NY
Medium • Young • Female

Cleo lost her home when her owner's son decided that he wanted a kitten. Confused and hungry, she made her way to a neighbor's yard and was taken in. Now she's looking for a forever home - someone who won't abandon her this time!
Cleo is a sweet young girl who loves to be adored. She’ll always greet you with affection and will happily climb on your lap for a petting. She is equally content curled up on a chair for a nice long cat-nap. She is happy just being inside with someone to show her affection.

EMILY - ABANDONED IN RED HOOK
Domestic Short Hair: An adoptable cat in Brooklyn, NY
Medium • Adult • Female


This sweet, gentle little girl was dumped with another calico in front of a store in Red Hook. Clearly unused to her new circumstances she frantically approached anyone who passed by. She had scratches on her face and neck from digging in the trash and eating from cans as she desperately scrounged for food. Someone she approached asked us to help rehome her. Perfectly healthy, negative for FeLV/FIV, vaccinated, microchipped and spayed she is now ready to go to a home who will make sure she never has to fear being on the street again. Emily isn't especially fond of other cats but would be ok in a home with another quiet cat and some space. Otherwise she would love to be the center of attention in a home of her own where she could purr and cuddle with her own special person.

A short adoption application, brief home visit and modest adoption fee required.

MISS PENELOPE: WANTS TO BE YOUR ONLY CAT!
Domestic Short Hair-Black And White/Abyssinian Mix: An adoptable cat in Brooklyn, NY
Medium • Adult • Female


This beautiful young tuxedo was a teenage mother living on the streets, but unfortunately none of her kittens survived. Penelope was rescued and spayed to prevent any more kittens. Now we are trying to find her a home. She is young and loves to play but doesn't really like other kitties. She can play a little rough so she needs someone who can help her learn not to play so excitedly. However, she is very smart and can learn quickly. Penelope has tested negative for FeLV/FIV and been vaccinated for distemper and rabies.

Adopt ME!~

I've decided to get a cat. Because I need something to love. And I'm tired of talking to myself. And I like warm, furry creatures.
After hours of perusing cat 'personal ads' on Petfinder.com, I'm tempted write one for myself. Maybe I'll start a Girlfriendfinder.com or Loverfinder.com for all of us stray humans who need to be adopted and loved too!
Here's my ad:

This adorable, affectionate redhead is looking for her forever love.

Violeta was found living a hand-to-mouth existence in a rough neighborhood in Brooklyn, spending too much time in bars and on OKCupid - dating one NYC dickwad after another. Though she has mild PTSD from years of dealing with non committal guys (who used her for her body and superior skills in the boudoir), once you gain her trust she'll be a loyal and loving companion.
If you decide to share your home with her she'll greet you with a warm smile, inane chatter and endless BJs (dream on)to show you her appreciation.

Though Violeta is friendly and plays well with others she prefers to be the only lady of the house - no polyamorous looney toons, nor cheating bastards need apply.

She's negative for all STD's, is tattooed and has had her rabies shots. Don't even think of microchipping her!

Please be gainfully employed, provide at least 3 references and an adoption fee of 30,000 cash. A mandatory home visit will be scheduled beforehand.