Quoteable

H is actually pretty hilarious. Here are some choice quotes from him:

The first thing he said to me today when he saw me in a white sundress was, "I can see your underware. Do you want everyone on the street to see your underware?"

Then I told him I had been spending a lot of time hanging out with my roommate he said, "He just wants your ass. Everyone wants your ass." I was like "Ummmmm...thanks but really its not that great."

When I told him that all my friends agreed his behavior lately was suspicious he said, "That's because your friends don't want you to be happy." I was like, "Really? Why?" Him - "Because you look better than them." WTF?! He's never even seen or met any of my friends.

About my new neighborhood, "You live in the projects habibti(sweetheart in Arabic), I'm sorry but its the projects."

Re my roommates: "When I go in your house and I see their shoes lying around and it smells like sneakers... Do you want to live in a prison?" Also, "Your Dad would not be happy knowing you are living in New York City with two men." And, "If I were to have a woman come live with me like a roommate, I'm sure I would be nice to her, sit on the couch talking to her, cook dinner for her. And I'm sure at some point I'm gonna sleep with her." I guess this is to illustrate the point that he thinks that its basically inevitable that men and women who live together as roommates are going to sleep together. I pointed out that I've lived with plenty of men over the years who somehow, I quite miraculously restrained myself from F@#Cking.

On several occasions he asked me, "Is there something wrong with your mind?"
Well, yeah duh...if I was remotely sane, I would NOT be hanging out with you Freakjob.

Should have known better...

As I predicted, I AM making a big mess of things after all. Hakim has pretty much been MIA all week, canceling plans, saying he's gonna call and then disappearing or calling at 1am. I hadn't seen him in over a week until today when I finally lost patience and went by his vintage clothing store to give him a piece of my mind. I also happened to mention that I had feelings for someone else. Immature, I know but I am so frustrated, nothing seems to evoke a response out of him. He actually got a little rattled. He's a complete nut; I am basically on the verge of breaking up with him and he's asking me if I'd like to go to Algeria with him for a little vacation. PSYCHO! Anyway, I just DO NOT TRUST this guy. He's shady as hell and I'm over it.

Meanwhile, I've been spending hours lying around on the couch with my roommate having crazy conversations about Love (his favorite topic), people, art, meditation, Psychology, etc. He gets all passionate when he's talking, sometimes he grabs my hand and holds it or hugs me. I was starting to feel like maybe he was into me but I didn't want to misread the situation. Well, the other night pretty much answered that question. By the end of it he had his arms around me and was stroking my hair and my face. It felt really nice but I had to end things there. First of all, he's my roommate and we are just getting to know each other, and really - most importantly - he has this Serbian girl who he's been talking to online for 7 months coming here NEXT WEEK. He's never met her in person but if they've been talking everyday for months its safe to say that they will probably hit it off in person. Sigh... Not that I want to begrudge him happiness. He's a total weirdo too (clearly I love freaks!)but he's also a romantic, an idealist and a sweetie. So, I'm steeling myself for her arrival next week, his subsequent lack of interest in me and worse yet, late night giggling sessions as his Serbian princess slips in and out of his room between lovemaking sessions. UGH. The only positive thing I can say is thank god my room is completely on the other side of the apartment from his, which will hopefully minimize some of the impending trauma.

Good lord, my luck in love is HIDEOUS! It just feels like a cruel cosmic joke is being played on me. I must be the world's biggest idiot when it comes to men.

The Spring Is Getting To Me

It's a city of strangers,
Some come to work, some to play.
A city of strangers,
Some come to stare, some to stay.
And every day
Some go away
Or they find each other in the crowded streets and the guarded parks,
By the rusty fountains and the dusty trees with the battered barks,
And they walk together past upholstered walls with the crude remarks.
And they meet at parties through the friends of friends who they never
know.
- from musical 'Company'

Awwwwwww....sometimes I just love this place!

Humid tropical heat, a million strangers on the street.
So many signs in broken English, 'Pritti Woman Salon'.
Smell of sweat and cologne on strangers.
An old man and woman next to me on a coffee date eating pie and talking with thick New York accents. The man telling her how he digs for diamonds in his back yard.
Wearing my sunglasses on the subway. WHO do I think I am?!
Men looking at me like I'm sexy, saying 'Hi', opening doors.
Eating nuts at 2am on the train platform, slightly drunk.
Always running late for work.
And what in God's name would possess me to roll out of bed at noon and start chatting away to my new roommate about my lesbian love affair. Then reassuring him that I like men better. Laughing gleefully, til he gently takes me by the shoulders and pushes me out the door saying "Don't be late for work". Putting out that sexual energy way too early in the day.
He's so cute. I just want to close my eyes and think of him.
Then I see Hakim standing in the Arabic store holding a giant engraved sword with his crazy black curls, looking like a pirate and his funny smile, eyes crinkling up.
Happiness is a surprise gift. I don't want to mess this up.

SLANDER!!!

In an attempt to start my own business as a Personal Chef, I started my own food related blog to share recipes and promote my own business. I was shocked and admittedly slightly amused when I found this comment posted on my blog:

"Allow me to inform you poor foodies about the REAL MM (my name). I knew M quite well during her early San Francisco days. For her to protray herself as a holistic person who cares about the well being of others is postively RIDICULOUS.

While I knew her, she drank like an alcoholic, abused drugs, lied and stole from those around her. Evry day, she ate top ramen noodles and washed it down with cheap Royal Gate vodka. The lovely "Foothills of the Sierra Nevadas" she likes to wax poetically about was this crazy Catholic commune her parents ran on church property. Her dad didnt like to pay taxes to the government so he kept his wife and 3 kids in poverty running this whacko commune.

I wouldnt eat a meal this conwoman made if it were my last on earth. M is a liar, never finishes anything she starts and will rob a client blind!"

I'm sorry but this is hilarious! I've never been called a liar or a conwoman in my life!!! Admittedly some of the facts are correct - the crazy commune, the Top Ramen and Royal Gate Vodka is embarrassing but true. Gimme a break though, I was a poor 20 year old college student! I suspect this comment was written by a particular disgruntled ex roommate who had a sex with a 14 year old boy in my room when I was out of town and then stayed with me rent free for over a month. She had the gall to be pissed off when I finally kicked her out. And yeah, I sold some of her stuff in a sidewalk sale to make up for $90 she owed me. Ahhhh... blast from the past! I'm shocked that someone would have such vitriol toward me 15 years later. Weird.