Oh.My.God.
So, I have this crush on a guy in one of my classes. He's exactly my type - which is to say that he's Latino and too young for me.
Last night was our final class for the semester, so I rounded up a small group of people to go out - me and 3 guys. Heh heh... We ended up at this kind of sketchy bar in Harlem. K, one of my classmates starts buying us shots of Tequila, meanwhile M (the guy I like) and I are chatting in a semi-normal manner. I say 'semi-normal' because we are both kinda weird. I think that's why I like him - well, that and I think he's hot! He's telling me about his White ex-girlfriend who was a 'nymphomaniac' and I'm showing him pictures of a painting I did on my cell phone and then there's a little accidental slip up...he was like "Uh, did I just see a nipple?!" Ooops, guess I should delete that old photo! We are also talking about cultural heritage, our parents, growing up without a lot of money, stuff like that.
Then the shots kick in - I take off M's cap and run my hands through his hair, then I run my hands over K's buzz cut too for good measure, just so it doesn't seem like I'm too into M. Next, insist on making both men feel my hair (the 3rd guy was smart and cut out after one drink to go home to his gf). "See isn't it soft?!" I exclaim. (I'm sure the women in the bar must have wanted to kill me). Then some other guy comes over. He's cute in kind of a ghetto way with tattoos all over his neck and a predatory look in his eye. He approaches me and says, "Hey which one of these guys is your boyfriend?" I tell him that they are my classmates. To which he replies, "Good, cuz I like you" and introduces himself as 'Butter'. When I ask why he calls himself Butter he says its because he's 'smooth and sweet'. Good lord!
Another shot later and in the company of 'Butter', we are headed out to another bar. M and I are sharing a cigarette and walking together talking. After I take the first drag and pass it back to him I say, "I have herpes". M eyes me anxiously, "Are you serious?!" I reassure him that I am joking. He seems slightly skeptical. He tells me "Sometimes people say they are joking but they are really serious". I try to explain that when I'm drunk sometimes I just say crazy things to see how people will react. Kinda fucked up but I'm a freak, what can I say?
The next place is a tiny Mexican restaurant/bar with a DJ. K orders an enormous pitcher of margaritas. Butter disappears, he is running around chatting with everyone, mostly young, thuggish looking guys. One guy in particular he seems to know well. The guy pulls up his shirt and shows us a big bandage over his ribs and tells us he got stabbed this week. Later Butter returns to our table and whips out a plastic pint of some sort of alcohol and dumps a bunch of it into my glass and then the rest in the pitcher of margaritas. I stare in incredulously. When I ask him what it is he says its vodka. Well, its COCONUT flavored vodka - cheap and sickly sweet. I tell him there's no way I'm drinking it. 'Only Girl in the World' comes on by Rhianna and he grabs me and drags me to the dance floor. The dance floor being a tiny corner of the dark room by the bar, with no one else but us on it. We put on a good show, with Butter laying it on thick, but not too thick, so I'm not feeling totally molested by him. The 4 or 5 guys sitting at the bar are gaping at us. Then we go back to the table.
I am pretty drunk by then and ask M if I can give him a hug. He says yes and I give him a big hug, then I jump over to the other side of the table and throw myself on K, who is sitting there innocently trying to finish his burrito. I am hugging him too, telling him how he's so nice and sweet, blah blah. He is really a good natured guy, so I wasn't being insincere but he looked a little shocked by all the affection. I went back to sit next to M and I started rubbing his leg under the table. Butter has disappeared and reappeared again. This time he was leaning across the table looking at me intently and sharing his life story - he just got out of jail, he was in for 10 years, he shot/stabbed/something (I'm not clear on this detail) someone who stole his mom's purse but... he's really a nice guy. When he sees my disapproval, he assures me it was only to protect his family, that he's the kind of guy who protects everyone he's close to etc, etc, and I would be safe with him. I am horrified, drunk and don't give a fuck. So I say, "Well, I would protect my family too. But I wouldn't go around and kill someone who stole my mom's bag."
Finally, the bill comes and no one has enough cash. K grabs it and puts it all on his card. M and I try to leave the tip in cash but Butter intercedes claiming he already left them 'something'. Suspicious, I asked exactly what he left. He states, "I gave them 2 bags of coke for their tip." OMG! Is this guy for real? M and I hand the cash directly to the waitress. Before heading out the door, I throw my coat and backpack on the ground in a dramatic gesture and grab K for one last wild, drunken dance before we leave the bar.
M and I quickly exit the scene before Butter can catch up to us (and presumably kill us - just kidding!) and walk to the train together in the rain. I don't remember quite what I was saying to him but I'm pretty sure that it was something kinda weird and out there. The good thing is I don't think he cares, since he's pretty eccentric himself. I give him another hug goodbye and tell him we should hang out again. Exhausted by the night's festivities, I fall asleep on the train home.
