When I was home for Christmas my brother told me about a Japanese philosophy for surviving tsunamis. 'Tendenko' encourages people to save themselves first in the occasion of a natural disaster or tsunami. Due to their strong ties to family and feelings of obligation to others, many Japanese turned back to find relatives which cost precious time during the tsunami and led to greater casualties. However, one seaside village that rigorously instructed its citizens and schoolchildren on the practice of tendenko - which in this case literally meant to drop everything and run like hell for the hills at the first sign of a tsunami - had very high survival rates.
I'm not a big fan of New Year's resolutions. But one thing is for sure - I've been burned enough by men this year (and work situations). This needs to come to an end ASAP. So, for 2012 I'm putting into practice my own version of 'emotional tendenko' - self preservation in relationships. The moment I see red flags with someone: selfishness, game playing, unreliability, alcoholism, lying, cheating, ambivalence about relationships, mental instability, etc - I'm heading for the hills. This goes for friends too, some just seem to expect endless free therapy sessions but are never very compassionate when the tables are turned.
I'm tired of falling for emotional wrecks and thinking I can save them; I can't. After one of my ex boyfriends convinced me to invite him to my parents' farm for the holiday and then preceded to just never show up - without calling or contacting me in any way to say he wasn't coming, I'm through extending myself emotionally to drowning people. OK you're depressed and miserable and you hate your life, etc,etc - I get it (because I've been there) but you know what - that's no excuse for treating others like shit and making them feel bad. Self preservation is finally kicking in and I'm heading for high ground, unencumbered. Anyone who'd care to join me is welcome but they're gonna have to make it there on their own.
