Perhaps I'm being too hard on myself but the following sentence popped into my head while I was showering today - One day I hope to be a fully functioning member of the human community capable of an intimate relationship with another human being rather than a debased psuedo-intellectual who fucks for sport and objectifies young, 'exotic' men...
All this on the heels of a text message marriage proposal (my second to date!)from a young Indian guy I was dating in order to get his green card, getting hit on by a black cop in my neighborhood (as opposed to being eyed suspiciously or stopped and frisked)and setting up a date with a sexy young Dominican guy who works at the deli across from the YMCA. Oh lord, here we go again, it never ends!
I used to engage in this behavior mindlessly, gluttonously, addictively. But now thanks to a combination of maturity (sort of), psychotherapy and studying Sociology - I am beginning to wonder exactly what-the-fuck is going on here.
2 comments:
Never, ever get involved in any kind of immigration shenanigans. Seriously. Dating, marriage, etc. are all just stepping stones for the immigrant, and you're ALWAYS being used. Get away NOW.
That said, there are two sides to the younger/exotic thing. It sounds like you don't really take the exotic boys seriously --- not just because of their age, but because of their race or European origin. If exoticism is your kink, then own it! Nothing wrong with that. But make sure you realize that you don't see them as real boyfriends or partners, so you won't be disappointed in them.
And realize that you can't have a real boyfriend while continuing to play with shady foreigners who pass through NYC.
True, true and truer! Good points, you'd think it'd be obvious but some of us are more adventuresome than practical. Time to work on that!
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