Me:
Wait til I tell you what I said to the guy I
went out with last night...
When he told me he'd had major surgery a year ago, I
innocently asked "oh what did you have done - penis
enlargement?!!" I kid you not. It turns out he had
heart surgery. I guess he wasn't offended b/c he
emailed me today and wants to go out again.
I am a menace to mankind!
Friend:
Why doesn't that surprise me? Even a little tiny
bit??
Me: (this is about a different guy from above, I was dating them both briefly)
Apparently I wasn't as well behaved as I thought the other
night...
I seemed to have blacked out this little detail but
I guess I called A to make sure he got home ok
after we hung out last time. When he said he had I
then asked him to rate himself in bed!!!! Oooops!
He said I should rate myself too. According to him I
told him "Well, I'm the center of the universe, so of
course I'm great!" HUH?! That doesn’t even make sense!
Jeeeeezzus. 3 glasses of wine, some pot, a sexy guy
and my mentally ill brain are not a good
combination!
Luckily he seems more amused than frightened by
this.
Just wait til he gets to know me better. heh heh...
Note: Above guy dumped me a couple weeks later via email. Can’t say I didn’t have it coming to me…
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