Resolution

My ex boyfriend,the one that I just couldn't get over (The Persistence of Memory), showed up on my doorstep the other night. He was drunk and had just paid $90 to take a cab to my house from the South Bay. Suddenly, after all this time, he just HAD to see me. As I peered through the blinds of my front door and saw his eager face grinning at me, I froze for a moment. I felt no urge to open the door. I wanted him to wait out there. He was in shorts and flip flops, a baseball cap. Already I felt disappointed. All these months of pining for him and this was how he showed up?! When I let him in he immediately started trying to kiss me. I ducked away. I felt nothing. No desire. Just numbness. And maybe minor irritation, even.
He was roaming through my house - noticing everything that was different from last time he had been here. Wondering where his photos were. I laughed - honestly could he have expected to me to keep them up? We broke up. I never saw him again. He was telling me how hard he tried to forget me. How much he missed me. Blah blah blah... I wanted to tell him that he broke my heart; that as much as he missed me I missed him more. That it took me months to not wake up feeling like my chest was cracked wide open. But I didn't. Instead I told him he needed to brush his teeth before he kissed me because his breath smelled bad.
He wants to introduce me to his other brother, who is out here now. He still recycles, just like I taught him. I wonder why all this now. Then he tells me he has been horribly lonely. "Me too." I say.
I let him spend the night. We sleep together. Its alright. I think he's more into it than me. I feel slightly crowded in my small bed. I'd forgotten how much space he takes up.
At 5 am I call another cab for him, so he can get home in time for work. Somehow he twisted his foot in the middle of the night. I kiss him goodbye and watch him hobble out the door. My chest constricts a little. I actually feel sorry for him. He's not the same guy I fell in love with. He seems weary, sad, slightly sick. The cab pulls away into the predawn mist. My heart feels empty, dry as bone bleached too long in the sun.