'Feminism' and its Discontents

I must admit that the average middle class white guy from this country holds little appeal for me. The accomplished 30 something white mothers I observe in my neighborhood rushing around with their jogging strollers and yoga mats, clad in expensive athletic wear, valiantly struggling to get back to their 'pre-baby' weight - all while holding down a lucrative, full time professional job, attempting to maintain a loving and passionate friendship with their husband, be the best mother they can be, in addition to setting aside time for weekends away and cocktails with 'the girls', do not inspire me. They seem overworked, stressed and exhausted, with too many people to please.

My otherwise liberal friends gasp in horror when I tell them I am dating a Muslim guy. But to me it makes sense. I feel oppressed by the tyrannical beauty and success standards impressed upon me by my supposedly open-minded, educated middle class white peers. In fact, it is in such company that I feel like the biggest, fattest failure. I know the Muslim world is not known for its enlightened attitude toward women (and that's an understatement in certain countries!). However, I feel compelled in the spirit of open-mindedness , cultural curiosity and (waning) optimism to check it out. Realistically any man attached to a religious dogma of any sort (whether it be Buddhism, Islam, Judaism, Christianity, etc) will probably not be for me. But just because a man is white and educated doesn't mean he's not a sexist pig and just because a man is a Muslim doesn't make him a de facto misogynist.

Today's modern woman is expected to be everything to everyone - loving mother, sexy spouse, affectionate companion, capable career woman, faithful daughter, supportive friend, all while looking amazing doing it. By god, you'd better not get fat! I'm sorry but there are some serious issues here. If this is enlightenment, then count me out. While I have zero desire to return to the restrictiveness of the 1950's, there has to be a more compassionate way. The unlovely truth is that we still live in a capitalist, patriarchal society - throwing ourselves into a Darwinian rat race of social ascendence and punishing ourselves over our bodies is not liberation - its enslavement.